jarrow (jarrow) wrote in strangefandom,
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Round 3 Strangers: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang


Vid Used

"Use It" by sisabet (sisabet @ yahoo.com)
download: http://sisabet.livejournal.com/379970.html



Grokker Synopsis

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a slap-sticky dark-comedy and murder-mystery movie starring Robert Downey Jr as a down-on-his-luck petty thief, Val Kilmer as a gay slick-Hollywood-detective and Michelle Monaghan as a mystery-loving struggling actress.

Robert Downey Jr is Harry, who sucks at being a thief. He and his partner in crime almost get caught breaking into a toy store (so he can buy his kid the latest action figure). He narrowly escapes by running away and stumbling into a group of other shady looking people who all turn out to be actors trying out for the part of a crook. His breakdown performance at the audition catches the director's attention and they decide to fly him out to LA for the role of a tortured PI. Harry goes along with it, being both sneaky and somewhat of a space cadet.

At one of the first parties Harry attends as part of his new Hollywood lifestyle, we are introduced to our struggling actress Harmony. The narrator reveals that Harmony is from a small town, likes reading crime novels and had a sexually abusive father. When she passes out at the party, Harry comes to her rescue and totally gets his ass kicked.

This is when we meet Val Kilmer, or "Gay Perry", the detective who is supposed to help Harry prepare for his new acting role. Perry patches Harry up after the fight and helps him track down Harmony, the fair maiden who ran off during the ass-kicking.

When Harry catches up with Harmony at a bar, there is some delightful banter and teasing until Harmony verbally ass-whoops Harry for not recognizing her. Apparently they were totally BFF in high school in some small town, and Harry pretty much remembers her as the girl who made out with everybody BUT him. She catches him up on her life since high school: she ran away to Hollywood to escape her dysfunctional home but has had a hard time getting roles in anything other than cheesy TV commercials.

What follows is a whirlwind of murder, mystery and dark humor. Perry and Harry witness a murder at a lake and try to find a way to dump/hide the body. Harry accidentally sleeps with Harmony’s best friend, instead of Harmony. Harmony tries to convince Harry to help her investigate her sister’s apparent-suicide/murder. Harry’s finger is torn off in a slamming door but the group gets sidetracked trying to solve the murders on the way to fix his finger at the hospital. A dog tries to run off with Harry's severed finger. Harry and Perry get tortured at an insane asylum. There is a hilarious final chase scene involving a coffin, several cars, lots of shooting and LOTS of running. In the end, Harry is saved from a gunshot by a copy of a crime novel in his pocket, Perry gets to make lots of snarky commentary about studio-enforced happy endings, and Harmony gets revenge on her abusive father.
YAY THE END.



Stranger Synopses


Stranger 1

All I knew about this fandom was:

Robert Downey Jr. is smokin’ hot.

Here's what this fandom is really about:

1) Robert Downey Jr. is smokin’ hot. 2) The title is truth in advertising—sex and violence galore. 3) It’s also an epic bromance between RDJ and Val Kilmer of the “we hate each other/now we totally have each other’s backs” variety.

It’s a classic caper—fast-paced and glitzy, with L.A. from fancy mansions to the mean streets, guns, dead bodies, naked girls, pulp paperbacks, guns, fistfights, misunderstandings with bad guys, misunderstandings between allies, torture, guns, amputation (eek!), hospitals, and did I mention guns? Speaking of pulp paperbacks, the characters aspire to noir detective-hood, but are in a little over their heads. Mostly.

Mixed in with the crime caper is a love story between RDJ and The Dame, who have known each other since Back When. (D’aaaw!) The love story gets a few misdirection moments, with a wrapped-up-in-the-moment kiss between Val and The Dame, and the above-mentioned bromance, which includes bonus “gay kiss to throw off the cops” and CPR. But in the end, RDJ gets The Girl and a new BFF in Val. And hospital bills. Hospital bills for both the boys.



Stranger 2

All I knew about this fandom was:

I only knew a Torchwood episode with that name - and it's apparently not that episode, so I hadn't even heard about it.

Here's what this fandom is really about:

This movie is about three people, two guys (played by Robert Downey junior, who is the lead, and Val Kilmer) and a woman (who is played by a blonde actress who looks vaguely familiar, but I can't remember her name). Let's call her Susan.

RDJ's character and Susan have known each other since they were children - they've played together and later they were at the same college. And of course RDJ had a crush on her, but he had 'some asshole' as his rival. (Later it comes out that this was VK's character).

They lose sight of each other - RDJ goes to a big, sexy and dangerous city and lives a big, sexy and dangerous life, in which getting beaten up at a party doesn't bother him really any more (he probably kind of deserved it, having sex with the girlfriend of that guy practically directly under his nose - while Susan stays in the country. But she really loves reading all those pulp novels and really wants to go to the big city - is it really like that there? (She guesses not, it's probably only louder and dirtier than on the country, but she wants to go and see for her own. And maybe she can have an adventure! Yes, she is a little bit bored with her life right now.)
So she gets on a bus and off to the big city it is.

And of course it doesn't take long and she meets RDJ again, and also VK and now things get complicated, because she can't remember RDJ being that sexy when they were younger, but she also likes VK, and of course RDJ's crush on her flares up again and at first he still can't stand VK (and those feelings are mutual, thank you), but then something happens!

You know, RDJ knows a lot of people and some of them aren't really nice people and well - somehow he manages to anger this one gang and of course he manages to drag VK into it as well (lots of misunderstandings led to that) and then they manage to drag Susan into it and suddenly it's risky car races and driving into lakes and shootings and gay make outs in dark areas (they had to pretend they were gay so that those guys think they're someone else) and of course Susan catches them, because - well. The bad guys had been gone but it felt nice, you know? And better to be safe, than sorry, so let's pretend a bit longer and yeeeeeees.

It's a bit awkward after that. Especially since Susan doesn't quite know whether she should be jealous or turned on or both. And they still really like Susan very much and oh, yes, sex please, but that was fun as well (ok, the part where they had to fear for their life not so much - although.... Exciting!).

It all ends when there are shootings all over the place and VK gets shot and RDJ thinks he's dead and tries CPR, but it doesn't work and then he's out for REVENGE. And revenge he will have. Only he gets shot as well - in the heart! And Susan thinks her other boyfriend (because she now thinks of them as that - her boyfriends, even they don't know) is dead as well - but then he opens his eyes and winces and pulls out one of the pulp novels she loves so much and he always made fun of her because of that out of his jacket (because he secretly loves them as well) - it had caught the bullet and so he's just really, really sore. And sad because he thinks VK is dead - which he isn't. An ambulance found him fast enough and those guys were simply better at first aid and reanimating and so the movie ends with RDJ and VK leaning on each other and walking out of the hospital, because outside of it Susan is waiting for them and everyone is pretty sure they'll all have sex right after the movie. (Actually that was a favourite for fanfictions for the movie.)



Stranger 3

All I knew about this fandom was:

I haven't seen any thing but the trailer so that left me good to go.

Here's what this fandom is really about:

It seems that RD Jr can't catch a break. Every where he goes dead bodies and bad guys show up. He's just trying to make a living in Hollywood. But somehow he stumbles into WTF world. He seems to know a few people. Most of them seem to have problems with drugs, the law or their own impulse control.

He must run into every body in town twice. But the ones who stand out are Val Kilmer and a spunky girl he has had a crush on since school days.

Val is a spy or cop or some kind of undercover type. He looks to have a multiple personality disorder. He alternates between making out with RD Jr or throwing him off of bridges. He is on the run from something, but what it is I have no idea. RD Jr is swept up in Val's wake and the level of crazy goes off the charts.

Spunky Girl appears to be the obligatory struggling actress. She is a potboiler detective novel addict since girlhood. Maybe this is why she keeps on finding herself in the middle of ongoing crime scenes. She also has a love hate thing going on with RD Jr.

As hard as these two have it, it’s RD Jr who wins the wrong place, wrong time game. He is tortured, shot, hurled through the air into traffic, and in God knows how many car wrecks. He nearly has his finger eaten by a dog. He can't even take a piss without a dead body showing up. And there are what?, four or five of those! I think that if I were his friend I would stay far, far away from this guy.

Somehow he, his crazy boyfriend AND his girlfriend all survive the wacky adventures. What are the odds?. Let's just hope those three settle down and have a pleasant vacation somewhere with lots of well deserved sex.



Stranger 4

All I knew about this fandom was:

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - wasn't that Germany's burlesque-themed entry to Eurovision this year?

Here's what this fandom is really about:

In a dystopian alternate universe where the entertainment industry has completely taken over the government and forced most aspects of society under their ever more extreme control, there are only two ways left for people to talk to each other: through sex or violence. Scarlet the redhead (Wasserface), Sandy the blond (Val Kilmer), and Bruno the brunet (Robert Downey Jr) are three lonely people who just want to reach out and make friends with each other, but only know how to do this with over the top displays of violence.

Sandy and Bruno meet at a fancy dress party and politely introduce themselves by beating the snot out of each other. Scarlet joins them later, having been busy earlier that day at another party where all the guests wore lederhosen and dirndls to watch as a surprise cake bear mauled several people to death, and says hello to the boys by stripping down to her sexy Santa lingerie and later getting naked. They're all very surprised to discover that they actually went to high school together, where Scarlet was a cheerleader for the school's murderball team. All three decide to go get some coffee together after the party, flipping their car off the road and into a lake along the way for kicks.

They stop by Scarlet's house on the way back, where she shows them her collection of sex-filled 50s pulp novels and erotic fantasy movies. Bruno shows his appreciation for her collection by shooting and killing Scarlet's roommate. Sandy doesn't want any blood on his new leather car seats, so he leaves Bruno by the side of the road and heads home by himself.

Bruno starts to fall in love with Scarlet, but worries that his explosive pee could be a problem in consummating their relationship. Sandy tries to help him out with his electrode collection, but the experiment ends poorly with explosions, dead people in the shower, and one of Bruno's fingers being cut off. The other two rescue his finger from being eaten by Scarlet's dog and take him to the hospital to have it reattached. Sandy decides to cheer him up by bringing in several costumed singing telegram performers as visitors.

While they're at the hospital, a different red-haired patient in Bruno's room is killed in a drive-by nurse attack. In order to save her from the terrible fate of having her life story turned into a Lifetime Movie of the Week by the controlling government powers, they sneak her body into their car and try to drive her body out of town to a quiet private cemetery. They drop her body out of the hospital window where it lands in a dumpster before they can pull it out. Sandy and Bruno distract the police force with a french kissing discussion of 19th century French writers while Scarlet watches with deep interest.

But the government is on to them! They send a couple cars full of elite Reality Television Agents after the three to stop them from breaking society's rules. Scarlet, Sandy, and Bruno manage to stop the government agents on an overpass where they make their plea about letting people have private deaths by shooting all the agents at close range. Sandy is killed during the attack, and Bruno gives him one last blood-filled kiss as a way of appreciating their friendship. Bruno is shot and falls off the overpass, but his fall is broken by a conveniently placed coffin, and a passing car involved in a high speed chase.

Bruno finally makes his way back to Scarlet, and returns to her one of the dirty books he stole earlier. There's now a bullet hole in it, which makes it more exciting, but there's also a bullet hole in Bruno too, which is less so. Scarlet is distraught to have lost two new friends so soon, but is soon distracted by the slew of TV interviews about the incident that she has to do for all the local infotainment shows.



Stranger 5

All I knew about this fandom was:

Umm...it's a movie. With Robert Downey, Jr. And somehow, I haven't seen it. Which makes me sad.

Here's what this fandom is really about:

This fandom is about how, even though he's clearly awesome times, you don't REALLY want to hang out with Robert Downey, Jr. - because if you do, you will die. No, seriously. EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. who shares a scene with him dies. They get shot. They get their fingers cut off. They get fangoriously devoured by what can only be described as a gelatinous monster.

No, seriously. He's the ultimate bad luck charm. His friends have their balls hooked up to electrodes. And! When the Love of His Life is passed out in his bed and has a CREEPY DISGUSTING SPIDER crawling on her chest, he doesn't even kill it. THAT IS NO GENTLEMAN, I TELL YOU.

....it might be worth it to see him make out with Val Kilmer up close.

PS - Lord of the Cock Rings, RDJ? I expect better from you, Iron Man.



Stranger 6

All I knew about this fandom was:

It shares a title with an episode of Torchwood and thus causes me massive confusion

Here's what this fandom is really about:

We have a city. As is the way of cities on television, it’s a rather gritty place. There are fabulous parties, but they often lead to lots of violence. Nevertheless, Blondie is determinded to seek out her past in this city. Conveniently, one single vacancy opened up at the seedy motel.

There is a bridge troll who might be able to help her. In exchange, Blondie has to sleep with Troll. This leads to Blondie getting sucked into the world of the seedy city. However, as an innocent outsider, she dresses rather childlike. And then Pedobear jumps out of the cake. Creepy.

Jacket Guy is also on the trail of Blondie’s past. However, he goes about it in the most creepy of ways, hanging around the edge of parties and getting into brawls.

It seems that Blondie’s past involved a stint as a magician’s assistant. And hopscotch, but I imagine most people’s past involves hopscotch. Blondie was a brunette in high school, and a cheerleader. Guess the squad had too many blondes. Jacket Guy went to the same high school, and had a huge crush on Blondie. Unfortunately, Blondie was dating a guy who the video conveniently named for me, Some Asshole. Some Asshole also grew up and got a really nice car. This makes Jacket Guy sadface. And kill people, because Blondie’s past may be more complicated than I thought. This is, after all, a gritty city. With convenient lakes to drop bodies in.

OH! Blondie was a porn star! I get it now! She seems to be repressing those memories. Possibly because she started seeing Jacket Guy and it was causing her problems. It must have been some seedy porn, because it leads to everyone getting shot. I get it now! The kiss kiss in the porn led to lots of bang bang! Roughly half the cast is dead by the end of the series. But Blondie and Jacket Guy live! And draw cute cartoons! And the surviving cast all come visit Jacket Guy in the hospital together.



Stranger 7

All I knew about this fandom was:

It’s a film called Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Here's what this fandom is really about:

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a love triangle between Bob (Robert Downey Junior) - a writer of bad novels, Nigel (Val Kilmer) - his agent, and Ermintrude (I don’t who the actress is, but she’s really cute) - his childhood friend who as a small girl was obsessed the Sawing A Lady in Half trick, but is now an aspiring actress.

The film follows the trio as they stumble upon a plot involving Russian Mobsters, murdered porn stars and clues hidden in seventies trashy novels and cheesy porn films.

Along the way much drink is consumed, much sex is had, Bob and Nigel don’t get arrested for public indecency, Bob learns why keeping your pets fed is a good idea, has his nails done and visits an animal free circus.

Ermintrude comes to realise that’s Bob’s affections don’t lie with her alone, there are flashbacks and events come to a head when the Russian mobsters close in on the trio on an LA Freeway overpass.

Bob finally recognises his feelings for Nigel just when he thinks he’s lost both Nigel and Ermintrude, and takes out the last of the mobsters after passing over the symbolic coffin (and getting a literal hand from the dead).

After finding Ermintrude alive, and proving that paperbacks aren’t bulletproof, Bob awakes in hospital with Nigel safe and well and proposing a ménage à trois, and the film ends with a visit from the Animal Free Circus as Bob ponders hot threesome sex in his future.



Stranger 8

All I knew about this fandom was:

Perry (Val Kilmer) is a gay detective. Robert Downey Jr. (Harry?) is a jerk. He's been in love with this girl forever. There's a dead body. The three of them almost die because they figure out who killed the dead person. This all takes place in LA

Here's what this fandom is really about:

Harry is a serial killer. He kills people because he wants to impress this girl he grew up with, Red. Red is totally into pulp fiction, true crime, and hard core drugs. Sometimes, she pretends she's a corpse. Sometimes, she pretends she's Mrs. Santa Claus.

Harry is scoping out a target when he runs into Perry. Perry is bodyguarding the guy Harry was planning to kill. Harry drags Perry off to run around LA. Harry's trying to figure out how smart Perry is; he has to decide whether or not to kill him.

Perry misunderstands Harry's intense scrutiny. He thinks Harry is having some sort of weird bi-curious moment, and that's why the guy is being an obnoxious jerk. Finally, it gets so annoying that he kisses Harry in an alley, to get him to back off.

Red sees it, makes up a big fuss, and Perry realizes that Harry isn't a jerk because he's trying to make a move, Harry is just a jerk.

Meanwhile, Red tells Harry about some guys that are bothering her, sending pretty blonde women to compete with her for modeling jobs. Harry kills a blonde, and some of the guys harassing Red, and makes Perry help him get rid of the bodies. The Big Boss decides that Red and her two male protectors are big trouble, and sends some people to take care of them. But! In the end, Harry's serial killing skills and Red's pulp novels save the day. Red, Perry, and Harry survive, and Harry realizes he is gay and does want to be with Perry, and Perry agrees to get married if Harry gives up his serial killing ways. They bankroll Red into a fabulous supermodel career, which she enjoys much more than she ever would have settling down with Harry, who is still a jerk.

Tags: kiss kiss bang bang, round 3
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